Bert Biellema has been a burr in the Auburn fans saddle since arriving in Fayetteville. Most recently he complained about Auburn not including thier extra point formations in the game film. We might all think that is silly, but if you consider how many touchdowns Coach B is anticipating from Auburn, it makes sense for him to really study our ‘swinging gate’ P.A.T. formations.

Yes, it was a dick move to question that publicly in a presser, and it was almost as irritating to suggest Auburn, Texas A&M, and most of the rest of the teams in college football do not play “real American football”, but consider for a moment what it means to be an Arkansas head coach. I mean, you pretty much have to be a dick to coach there. Let’s look at their recent history…

Lou Holtz

Long Before he was a dick at ESPN, Lou Holtz was cheating up a storm at Arkansas trying to keep up with SMU. He has some sort of weird dislike of the Orange and Blue, so much so that he pretty much picks against them every chance he gets.

Houston Nutt

Gigetty.

Houston Nutt is a crazy, lovable dick. I can’t really despise him like some of the other Arkansas coaches in this list. Gus Malzahn can probably call him a dick because if Nutt would have let Malzahn run the offense at Arkansas in 2006 he could have been a title contender with McFadden and Felix Jones in the backfield. The Hogs were cruising until Nutt replaced Mitch Mustain, Malzahn’s choice at QB, with Casey Dick. The Hogs predictably imploded after that.

Bobby Petrino

The most hated dick of the bunch and likely the best coach as well. Petrino pulled the ultimate dick move by hiring his mistress and then taking her joyriding on his motorbike. He then crashed and burned, in every sense of the word.

So Bielemma is just holding up the proud tradition of dick coaches at Arkansas. Unfortunately for him, his team is lousy, and when you are a dick, it pays to have a team that can back you up. He most certainly does not this year.

Auburn shows him what American football is all about by running it down his throat, and stopping Arkansas’s only hope in their run game.

Auburn 45
Shredded Pork 21